Post maternity leave reflections of a researcher who never stopped working

A year of maternity leave passed both quickly and very slowly, and in less than a month I am back to work full-time. It was out of my comfort zone to stop working and, before Emilia arrived, I was worried about how I’d adjust to my new stay-at-home mum life. Now, I have to figure out how to re-enter “il mondo del lavoro”, “the world of work” as Italians say it, having new responsibilities and a new life, really. 

It was a transformational experience and I am happy I have taken a full year. I was worried about my researcher identity being dominated by parenting, but I actually got the most exciting subject to observe and study, my daughter. It was incredible to see a little helpless alien turn into an active, curious, and fearless girl who still pretty much looks like my husband, but I am not losing hope my genes will kick in at some point.

During this year, I learned a lot, and I think it is transferrable to my work. I learned to take the most of the 30 mins of the baby’s sleep, to focus and be present because you cannot distract for a second with a child who is learning how to stand wherever she finds the support, to anticipate a crisis and prepare for 10 different potential scenarios. I am still learning how to accept that crises will happen no matter how well I prepare and how not to be absorbed into only one role of a mum, but I guess that’s lifelong learning.

Maternity leave and this first year of my daughter have been definitely, by far, harder than any job I ever did. There are regular night shifts, it doesn’t stop when you are sick, and anxiety to do the job well is overwhelming. Now, I am gathering any piece of advice or support to figure out how to continue being a mum and restart being a UX researcher.